Better days are coming. I can feel it. At least i survived through this 5 days lab straight this week. Will probably collapse to the bed after each day.
Life has been humdrum. Sometimes when I study or attend boring classes I just feel like screaming out loud. Information just wouldn't absorb, and with all the long hours and stupid labs I get frustrated with myself easily. And ended up hitting the gym to release all these anger out, getting lost in good looking boy or whatever that i actually can being in peace with myself.
I hate studying. I hate it. But i love learning. Is different! For me this two are different, like so much.Fucking shit that i am always doing the former one than the second.
Crap crap crap soon.I am going to my dreamland again with the boy images. Dot dot dot....
Sunday 20 February 2011
Friday 11 February 2011
What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over
The idea that the heart doesn't grieve over what the eye doesn't see is importantly different.But what of the things the eye not only doesn't see, but will never see? The unfaithfulness that forever remains a secret, the lies that never get back to me, or any other thoughts and sharing i have about ourselves or others? What is the point of bringing these truths to the attention of people when they will be hurt, if they will be happier not knowing? Sometimes i think ignorance is bliss but is a fool paradise.
It is surprising how much i think i know about myself, but in fact i actually don't. I hardly know the reflection point that is keep starring right back at me because i never bother to resolve them. Reality always is the wake up call. This is my third year doing this course, i haven't been doing anything much beside feeding all the crap loaded in the modules. I don't like going for boring classes and end up slaving myself during the lecture hours,i get nothing beside wasting the time, i just deciding to throw the lectures to the dustbin. I neither find it boring or i just finding excuses to myself, it can be attributed to the very lack of efficiency as opposed to the amount of every lectures.
What went wrong? I cant seem to connect the dot dot dot in mine. Why did i dip myself in pharmacy anyway? I am not a genius in drugs, the money isn't the factor anyway. I am not a bright student, neither a quick learner, i might need to spent triple hard work compared to others. I don't have the qualities captured for being a good pharmacist, communication isn't my capabilities neither. To search for the faults,I actually wanted to do crime scene investigation [ too much drama resulted ] where decease are monarch. Lol. This time i might be studying and communicate with the death one which i probably find it more interesting.
Dot dot dot.
Maybe i have got what i want, but just need to connect the dot dot dot.
Connecting.
It is surprising how much i think i know about myself, but in fact i actually don't. I hardly know the reflection point that is keep starring right back at me because i never bother to resolve them. Reality always is the wake up call. This is my third year doing this course, i haven't been doing anything much beside feeding all the crap loaded in the modules. I don't like going for boring classes and end up slaving myself during the lecture hours,i get nothing beside wasting the time, i just deciding to throw the lectures to the dustbin. I neither find it boring or i just finding excuses to myself, it can be attributed to the very lack of efficiency as opposed to the amount of every lectures.
What went wrong? I cant seem to connect the dot dot dot in mine. Why did i dip myself in pharmacy anyway? I am not a genius in drugs, the money isn't the factor anyway. I am not a bright student, neither a quick learner, i might need to spent triple hard work compared to others. I don't have the qualities captured for being a good pharmacist, communication isn't my capabilities neither. To search for the faults,I actually wanted to do crime scene investigation [ too much drama resulted ] where decease are monarch. Lol. This time i might be studying and communicate with the death one which i probably find it more interesting.
Dot dot dot.
The peoples
I like to day dream, to stare out of the window and think of ' What if ' , that was why i ended up getting a small notes written as-' Dont stay in the dream for too long, WAKE UP' inside the fortune biscuits during our CNY home dinner. [ Everyone burst into laugh ]. I have been sitting in the journey of life for quite some time, forgetting to ask myself to stop by and enjoy the bits of sceneries that flashed by. Finally, i stopped and asked myself what was missing. I don't know, i hardly see or reach it, or even feel it. But i NEED it.
The manja one
Connecting.
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