Getaway

The trip to London at Christmas was great. London is a shopping heaven i would say, not so much on the scenery. It was a place that all of us fell in love with especially during this boxing day,with all the up to 70% discount. Very enjoyable ( esp when you can get the things that you demanded long time ago in a affordable price). There was no plan initially as where to start, but all based on the map, truly no constant on-the-go planning, indeed it was good. The most unlucky was the strike action which affected the train schedule, so mostly was walking around London instead using public transport. Truly exploring holiday.

Due to the budget, we searched for the cheapest hostel for accommodation, which explained the good and the bad. The hostel rewarding some good live show, which you can see the angmo making love anytime,anywhere, even in front of you. One of the funny incidence was to check out the toilet for their after used condom which is pretty hilarious. And without all these, the hostel seems to be a dead place,which i bet no one will ever want to stay at it again.

I was with one of the loveliest group of people which made the trip even more meaningful. So much of sharing, so much of laughter, so many hilarious and sarcastic talk.     ( I can know how Zicky likes to listen to people ML-ed in a toilet ).

And thanks everyone for making the trip a relaxing and enjoyable. It was really awesome. Now that i am back to reality. Reality like to sink in somehow. Exam are in 2 weeks time, but i barely touch the books. I cant seems to find the motivation.

The best part of a relationship, is getting to call the person, or lay down next to them, and tell them all the craziest stuff that happened to you all day long. In the end that's what it is about. It's not about sex, not about the money they give you, not about how much you owe them, not about how good looking,rich they are. It is about them listening to you talk for hours and hours and hours, about stupid shit that doesn't matter and all the crapping. 

Torn.Away

Once i have made decision and promised i will never let myself fall into the same situation and never let them take me alive. Apparently it struck and yet the dignity refuses to give in. The feeling is suffering. And the greatest is i give up when i push myself too much, in fact i found out that i actually remain silence whenever i discovered something that i refuses to know it. Suffer. Keep going. Sometimes, it takes just a little to remind how much i have. Yet, i always feel that the next day will surely be a beautiful one.

However, i actually find a rubbish collector for it.Perhaps i think her smile will just heal every moment to happiness. (sound gay) There were no one who would agree for her crazee sports routine. In fact, there may be reason behind. =P

                                                                      Jo Lene, the sayang angel 


A girl who let me waited for few hours, and get back to me with her drunken look and strong alcohol smell.
A girl who like to listen to EMO song when she is sad.
A girl who i get to know more at the end of sem 4, which is so not enough.
A girl who i think that deserve to be happy and can just screw people up because she deserve for it.
A girl who share the same thought and perspective of  l***
A girl who share her stories and secrets when they lying down on the bed together.
A girl that express her feelings deep and cry in front of me.
A girl that i can trust on ( you betta be!)
A girl who i gave a big hug when i listen to her speak.
A girl who has lots of romantic projections and fishing skills.
A girl who i know deep down that she loves me,and vice-versa

( All these came with a little bit of perasan-ess. Just a little huh)


In fact there are more which i cant scramble all here, and i cant bring myself to talk to her . I miss you darling.

Rambling

I could not bring myself to update this blog as it will made me realised how shit my life is. Shity is because with all the test going on, and university has been shut down three days for the SNOW. A good excuse for being lazy. Inefficiency. Unproductive. Uncompetitive. Insignificant life. In fact i see it this way.

People can lead their life as a lie, and i am forced attempting the answers. I guarantee you, it is better this way. And it's not the fear of knowing the answer, or i am incapable of loving because i can.It is just that if ever demand for a honest answer, you would like to know that you will be in all this pain. You chose not to know the fact and accept the fate.

There are a lot of things i do not notice. But when i take an observe on them, i will store them in my heart. That is an ideal choice for me.

I dont even know what am i thinking. Yeah the mood came again.

Tong Hua (童话) Cover - English/Chinese + Violin/Trumpet by Jason Chen & J...

How i wish i could sleep with my dream, and it turn up to be the real that i wish. But reality sink in. Ah... life! The days that filled with passion,motivation seems so far from me now, and i struggling to find them back. Faith lies. Blame on the winter sonata/ christmassy feel with singing fairytale of New York here.

Haha. Being lame again.

Note: I hope i survive through the week.

Determination

wheel number from E and M-P on Vimeo.

Ps: You have got to get up every morning with determination if you are going to go to bed with satisfaction.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Isn't it good to have someone with you during this time?

Note: The lost me.Gotta do something about it. 

Self-inspire; EQ

Too judgemental 

Too sarcastic

Too self-ignorant

Too 'taking for instructions'

Wakeeeee up!

And if one never come across the ugly side of the world, perhaps one would have never learn from it, and more likely be positive with everything.And should really be clear that work and personal thoughts, perspective and the time remaining,really need to be separated. 

Time for a change.

Cheer up! I'm sure there are much better things in life for everyone =)

Matt Cardle sings The First Time (Ever I Saw Your Face) - The X Factor L...

" Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish,and wine to those that be of heavy heart. Let him drink and forget his poverty,and remember his misery no more."

Slept for 20 hours. Or should i say lying on the bed ? Something i have not done before. Damn, is menstrual spasm. No class. No food. No talk. Only shouting for help and took 3 tabs of PONSTAN. I think is another way of committing suicide. I realised that this sick just give me too much burden and problems. Unhealthy at all! Hate it! I am not supposed to be here uploading my blog but land in Nottingham for the Nott Games and yeah i missed Bonfire night yesterday at Green Glasgow. When i woke up this morning, I would tell myself what a day it has been, so much i have missed up....But at least i realised something: Like going to have some biscuits to eat after all the suffering because i was just too tired but ended up eating Fish and Chips with a cup of Milo and with warm concern from her. I can only say that i have such a lovely bestest. 

She is still the best for me.For 8 years.Although we don't share much recently,but we know what is on each other mind. Love her loads. 

On a lighter note, it is good to stay here in Glasgow as i am having class test in 1 week time which i have not started my revision at all! 

Note: Mom, Evening Primrose Oil seems doesn't help me at all. Some Pak Fung pills pls. =) And must remind myself to have more exercise. 

1 day Sheffield and York

Interviewer: So you are yling?
Me: Yes
Interviewer: You look tired. Are those pimples ? Big.
Me: erm (smiles) Yeah.....
( never expected to start with this situation )

I always think i am quite lucky when it comes to this. The demand i put and expectations i wanted to achieve always come at the right moment. Especially in this interview. Not smart. Not brilliant. Not talented. Very blur ( with the thinking look on), no additional/extra quality. I have no idea how i got in this. Once again, i felt a bit surprised and worried that i am unprepared for it. As for me there is always other who is always better than me and have the ability to go for this. And damn, i dont even remember what the hell is interview likely to be! But then i know i will pull off for this. Although the process was stressful and boring ( everyday stuck in the room), I had read hell lots of stuff  for this Lloyds, stuff that i wont even interested/bother if I am not under this. I don't like the feeling of not able to answer when the interviewer question me. But this 45 min interview  ( more than 10 questions bombarding) was a fruitful experience. Who would have thought that the topic about pharmacy could be so interesting. xD I learned a great knowledge and the correct way of communications ( not with your friends type lol ), and then to fight for the fear to talk to your boss in the future. Although i didnt put so much hope for the result, but i got what i want. =)

The journey to this interview was #$@%$#%. Finished lab in the afternoon and took 5 hours plus of trains with 3 transits plus all the insomnia in the train and dizzy. That day was simply *insert*. Passed by whole lots of places to get to Yorkshire.
Glasgow-Edinburgh-Doncaster-Sheffield-Yorkshire-Scunthorpe
Scunthorpe-Doncaster-Newcastle-Edinburgh-Glasgow
Mom, you can imagined how much i spent on this trip. LOL
The stay in sheffield was nice! Queen size bed with a lovely breakfast before went for interview.Thanks to the host Peter. Staying in a rented house out of uni is much way better than hostel lol. I will come to Sheffield again one day!

I think the lack of sleep is killing me these day. Dead.

Pleasures

Life is full of these. Eventhough you are overload with workload that seems cant finish,yet you still feel the happiness in it.

My first attempt is on tomorrow. Speaking is never my forte. At all. Now....talking for 45 min?!

Please let it be a smooth one.

Pray a little harder. * finger crossed*

Cher Lloyd-Stay With Me-Xfactor Live Show 30th October 2010

She

I always feel that 24 hours just so not enough for me, and fear that i cant finish/have enough time to do what I want to do. Life is so short yet you are so greedy and want to enjoy more. Nor it in more money to spent,travel more, or be more consistent and put more effort in your studies. I think coming to Glasgow last month marked the beginning of a new change. Alcohol and liquor aside,not to mention this,i wont probably highlight on it much,i have decided how i would like my third and fourth year here to be. And realised that although i am not some Noble prize winner or some rich guy's daughter, at least i am not a piece of shit. More fulfilling. More enrich experience. More new friends. More talk. And get to know myself better.

I would probably overload myself with work but there are fun activities which i am enjoy for doing them. A conversation with julia, i get to know that, for her, i am a thoughtful person as she said i have the thinking look and have a lots in mind and hardly share with people. She is not the first to say so. I think i could have done more to minimise all these imperfections. I want to be happy. And i want to try to make people who care and love me to be happy too. And of course not to let myself back to the past.

It is amazing how people that i know have changed to become who they are today. For the better for them ? A slight change, understanding too well in a sudden become stranger .Would you  give them one more chance and place your trust again?Dilemma. I hope everything goes well.

Silence, War

                  The weather today is surprisingly good. Sunshine.=)  But still it is cold.

Jyun left. Fui wei went to the city. And then the birthday girl went out with her friends since morning. Thank god Lee Jing are here with me(as in the same house). She always keep herself inside the room!!!

For once since i came here, i am alone. Bored and need some talk.

                                                    Anybody need a host??


There is no more time for me to be worried. Just keep fighting. This is what i always remind myself. Indeed i am or maybe i am used to it. I can imagine how relieved i will be after the next two weeks. Bring it on!!!
A new song for me- I run to you by Lady Antebellum.

Cheers!

                            

Back to 10102010

I have been doing so much recently that i barely have time for myself. I need a break. A break that i can have my own time watching movie, reading non-academic book, lots of money to splurge on shopping-spree,talking to my parents, and sitting like-now to update my blog. A little getaway.

It has indeed been a fulfilling week. This week have been filled with good food, crazy partying, great companions,newly-made friends, lovely conversations, just nice-workload that i cant spare out time to finish them. -_________-. Feel bad again.

I learned something new again. LOL. This time is a Scottish dance. Ceilidh. Thanks to Lilian and Hong yin for the invitation. This dance is easy to catch up but there were adventurous ( imagine holding your partner and spin for 6 times and only start with the dance), by that time i can feel my feet is already off-the-ground and dont even know where is my other half. Oh yea this dance have lots of partner. Yummmyy... Awesome play.

Sometimes people dont understand why i need a break too. Thanks Jyun for the reminding. And she is here now in Glasgow! LOL. All the way from Galway.

P109 who surprised Chei Wan for his birthday.














P108 who came. There were more seniors than juniors i guessed. Blahhhh.

Phew, i think that's quite a lot for one week period. This is yet another busy week. Dance classes have all started  ( is part of gym's activity), lab and labbbbb and also lab, plenty of deadlines........dead, dinners, uni's events that i already put in my name, and hopefully a trip to Nottingham ( please dont make me cancel it).

I am anxiously waiting for more to come. Guess i am still enjoying the crazee period of my life before all the shits come to me. Like walking from Uni to bath street with high heels just for clubbing and back with bare foot, luckily CV was there, or excitedly planning for a trip to London during Christmas and only realised that mid of Jan is the exam period. I would tell myself what a day it has been, or at least there is something...NEW for me.

Notes: The worst thing when you remember how little things you thought about the people you broke up with is they are gone from you. I am glad for it. I hope it is. 

Save me

In a few hours time, you will see the pictures of Edinburgh taken by...............me, haha, is may hwa them. LOL.
Girls, enjoy the trip! Help me to check out the 'people' there. xD
In few months time basically you might only get to see the pictures of this lovely country taken by me.haha. Can't wait!

Another fire alarm today.No idea the figures. Oh well....this time was during the lecture. I think the alarm here are just too sensitive, who bother to go out of the building which is freezing cold when you know that it is just a practice/ it is really on fire!!

The lectures for this two days didnt go well. Too much of information bombarding in which I am so lazy to study them. I can imagine how relieved i will be after i complete my cv and send in my application. I need to have a beautiful mind for this to happen, and believe that something extraordinary is possible.

Now, back to revision.

Battle-field

The summer placement application is open and the deadline is November,which is only one month left. I can imagine myself losing this opportunity and get my ass back to malaysia next summer although i never buy my return ticket.

When you have unreasonably demand and expectation on yourself, but cant achieve them even you want for it, the feeling sucks. It sucks even more when you have so many more to catch up, with all the lab going on. I feel bad for not being able to achieve what i expect myself to be.

Had a thought on fate today. Things may be fated to be, but we can choose not to follow it. Work it out the one you want, realise it and move on after that. 

Had a very nice workout today, went for outdoor jogging. I think all my anger have just been released. 

Shortcomings

Yesterday I realised i had so so much to learn. How to deal and communicate with patients in the correct way.
How to represent yourself and act professional enough in front of them. How to go about doing things when you dont even have a single ideas/clues on what is going on. Spontaneous. This is what i need to catch up and learn. I have been asking so many questions during this three hours PP3 lab that i am very very surprised with myself. Even role play with the lecturer. It all started well, just that it didnt end in the way i expect myself to be. I know i still cant answer a lot of questions nor give the good counselling/explanations as what i should do, but in fact it is a good start. It is such a great for me that my lab partner is such a brilliant pharmacist. I get to learn a lot form her. Just as you know half of the people in my group did their part time job since Year 1 which is so so out of my expectations. What a great start for me in Year 3. The people here intimidated me, in a good way which i should feel great. I just dont like the feeling of not able to complete something/do it in a right way that i know i am probably able with it.

I have been complaining to myself recently a lot, nor in summer placement or getting a part time job which is a million miles for me to achieve it. Disappointed.

And yea. The con-PP3 man beat me out of 3 pounds for a spatula. They chiseled me out of my money. My money is like the river flowing out non-stop but there is no return at all! Screaming out loud. Job ar job better come approach me. xDD.

The lack of concentration and hard work during the lectures is killing me. Maybe the surrounding. Study on guys rather than the lecture. LOL. Slap.

Thanks Lily!!!!! I opened my mailbox and saw this postcard. So sweet of you.I am so glad to have you this lovely friend. And yea this postcard is now beside my bed. Muackss..

When i was happy, you share my joy.
When i was sad, you lend me a shoulder.
When i faced with problems in studies, you teach me.
When i needed somebody to talk with, even is in the midnight, still you will answer me.
Love you lots...

Get back to realistic. Workload is still pilling up.

It is Friday Night !!!

The whole night was just simply *insert*. Started with nice food, and end with 2 bottle of damn-cheap-disgusting whiskey, 8 cans of Strongbow, 1 bottle of Taurus for the alcoholic us. You know who were the one. xD. We played crazy drinking games ( the one i love the most) As there are lots of newbies that didnt know the game rules and keep losing and ended up finished themselves with the mixing of those liqour in one shots. LOL. It was simply hilarious. During the game, we laughed at the most random things like why you need two balls to get a banana, and lots of free shows which started from ziyi and ho liang kissing each other ( supposed to be french kiss), the two Alex giving each other love bites.

And then there was the lovely couple, how we asked them to do french kiss in front of us, a lot of questions from us like which 'base' they are now ( well there are four totally) We were actually betting for that.

me, wendy, julia, ziyi

I thought the night was a reunion for us, but in fact this was my first time knowing them more. I was happy to see julia and wendy, the crazee one when they are tipsy (Wendy the most),and lots of gossips.xD Meeting and knowing them more always change my perspectives and broaden my horizons, and things that made me go 'wow', fuiyoh.....

For me, this kind of gathering should be held more often, then people wouldn't need to attend laughing therapy or watching comedy to make themselves happy. This in fact is the perfect substitute.

Note: Things that foolish mind always chose to believe.

          Makes no sense. 

          Too taking 'things' for granted.

          Time to wake up. Not the first time i remind myself. 

Happy New Month

A brand new month. It is October! New wishes. New dreams. New hopes. New determination. I never stick to it anyway even I have this kind of plan. Perhaps new cute boy? xD If this was one of my new resolutions, I think probably this will be on top of my list. Shit.

 

New experience. Night outings started at Topshop. Again, the two 'men' went in Topman and got their jacket

   

Get to know them better day by day always make me happy. We laughed at the most random things ( including Bread and Butter, Package: insider jokes ),  and imitate scottish people accent. Something different. Something new that i never try before. 

Suddenly decided to drink. Some of us head to Union. It was incredibly awesome. I mean strongbow. LOL. Sophia was a little tipsy after all. xD

So much has happened recently. So many disappointments. A lot of heart-to-heart talk with the one i love. xD. You know who you are. Bleh. A lot of random laughs and jokes. Nice meeting with newly-made friends. Excitements. I am anxiously waiting to go london, as the flight fares are rather cheap. But i am still enjoying my days here. Little things make me smile nowadays: like getting a winter jacket for only 2 pound. Many more to be amazed and amused with.

And thanks Graeme reminded me that i should put my own album in facebook. LOL. I will update you. And yea. I may consider dye my eyebrow brown. xD

Okay this post doenst make much sense. Just that i am waiting for more to come. Phew. Time to sleep. Nights. 

Everyday Is Getting Colder and Rain Pour Everytime

Classes have just started. Frankly, they are boring. As usual.  So far i had only 2 classes, biopharmacy 3 and PP3 lab. So it is rather hard to tell, but if you think for the bright side, it is interesting as there are quite a number of cute guys in my batch =__________= . So means when lectures is getting boring, just turn around and entertain yourself with the cute faces instead of the modules notes. LOL.

My bank account opening here has so far been approved by them. I hope they process it faster as i cant wait for my debit/credit card!

Went to collect my module notes for year three, got seven books, two BNF, and one ethics,pharmacy practice book. If you don't convert it, they are rather cheap! 70 pound. Just that usually i dont spend much on books. LOL.

Dear mom, bear with me for dew days more. I will get my number soon as they need credit card for the phone package. Love you lots. I miss home and home-cook food. Just as you know i am always lazy to cook  although i know the way. xD.

And i have a new found love song, Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. I got so excited listen to this song, the MV, the lyrics. Some song, the more you listen to it, the more you repeat, the more you love them, and the more you think. Slap me.

Looking back it was all so easy

I hope you know you're my last mistake

Don't come around and say you need me 

I won't stay

Just love this part from the song You Will Never Be by Julia Sheer.

Ps: I bought a sony alpha 390 camera, but it is always in my bag. For more photos, please be patient or just look at my tagged photos. swt swt.

I shall write more soon. Wanna get ready. Ciao.

Random

Please do something more productive. This is what I always remind myself. Perhaps read more, write more, and learn more instead of rotting here. It is been almost one month past since my last read. LOL. Slap hard. Maybe I should just do more exercise, travel around, or meet new people (which I will soon and it is a must) Meeting and talking with people around me always made me feel that I don’t really know what I want. There is no any single day that I never learn new things. Even a normal conversation.  They inspired me. I learned something different.

Just want to try something I never try before. It sound crazy and fun for me. 

Happy Birthday MunMun =)

2 years ago, we came to place famously known as I Am You. We got to know each other. Shared the same group, and almost become lab partner as my name was above you in the name list. LOL. Organised activities together.Worked for project together and all kinds of assignments. Knowing you is great. Plenty of hugs, kisses and pats on the head are what i want to give you in fact i cant. I miss you gal. Too little chit chat, random say hi and bye,we laughed at the most random things for 2 years. Maybe we get to talk and know each other more on sem 4 which is so so not enough. It is like watching a movie in a fast forward mode.

A warm concerns and wish from me. We will celebrate next year together perhaps. I hope you had a blast or a peaceful and romantic dinner. Just the way you like it.

Ya da ya da da da....a new start. i shall embrace it. A little update about my room here. 

One word to describe my room. It is small. Overall it is good in condition. 

Tomorrow i will have my first class with 170 of us. Phewittt...As in new poeple here. *cough cough * To many crazee times, and many more to come...

Note: Sometimes what you think, will not be other people think. They just dont get it. 

Fresh

It has indeed been a fulfilling week since i stepped here,Glasgow

After visiting whole lots lots of places here, non-stop-walking and almost falling down countless times in the crowd, stuffing myself with the food and cute hot guys

doing all kind of stupid things like running like this in the middle of road early in the morning with 2 degree celsius,

and hitting with a angmo who were changing her bra in the opposite building...LOL

Sometimes doing something that you have million excuses not to do it feel good. 75 pound for 1 year worth it, although i am having lots of walking here. LOL

Anywhere people out there, this week has been filled with great companions, crazy hang out, good food, lots of lovely and you-and-i dont know conversation which popped out in the truth and dare drinking games, and should have more activities in the campus that i always cant make it...

Instead this start, shall be a good start. I hope.

This morning i woke up to read this and i really love it 

It isn't about the disgusting teddy bears and chocolates. The amount of time you can spend in each other's arms. Or the disillusion of happily ever after.

It's a lot about growing up. Discovering who you really are through the eyes of another. About the people you change each other into.

me, and the rubbish collector

When life taste like lemon, put it in your whisky/ rum/ gin and down them. Dont do it like May hwa. 

Love is yours, you can give it to anyone anytime you like

Life is yours, you can live it the way you like.

I hope.Maybe one day i can prove to myself that i can just manage both as well. 

You need a break pretty.Think you have been doing so much recently that you barely have time for yourself. But i know you enjoying it. 

My break has finally come to an end. Uni start on tuesday, with lab on the  first day. LOL . Pray a little harder. Hope everything goes well.

Autumn ar autumn...you better stay longer.