Better days are coming. I can feel it. At least i survived through this 5 days lab straight this week. Will probably collapse to the bed after each day.
Life has been humdrum. Sometimes when I study or attend boring classes I just feel like screaming out loud. Information just wouldn't absorb, and with all the long hours and stupid labs I get frustrated with myself easily. And ended up hitting the gym to release all these anger out, getting lost in good looking boy or whatever that i actually can being in peace with myself.
I hate studying. I hate it. But i love learning. Is different! For me this two are different, like so much.Fucking shit that i am always doing the former one than the second.
Crap crap crap soon.I am going to my dreamland again with the boy images. Dot dot dot....
Sunday, 20 February 2011
Friday, 11 February 2011
What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over
The idea that the heart doesn't grieve over what the eye doesn't see is importantly different.But what of the things the eye not only doesn't see, but will never see? The unfaithfulness that forever remains a secret, the lies that never get back to me, or any other thoughts and sharing i have about ourselves or others? What is the point of bringing these truths to the attention of people when they will be hurt, if they will be happier not knowing? Sometimes i think ignorance is bliss but is a fool paradise.
It is surprising how much i think i know about myself, but in fact i actually don't. I hardly know the reflection point that is keep starring right back at me because i never bother to resolve them. Reality always is the wake up call. This is my third year doing this course, i haven't been doing anything much beside feeding all the crap loaded in the modules. I don't like going for boring classes and end up slaving myself during the lecture hours,i get nothing beside wasting the time, i just deciding to throw the lectures to the dustbin. I neither find it boring or i just finding excuses to myself, it can be attributed to the very lack of efficiency as opposed to the amount of every lectures.
What went wrong? I cant seem to connect the dot dot dot in mine. Why did i dip myself in pharmacy anyway? I am not a genius in drugs, the money isn't the factor anyway. I am not a bright student, neither a quick learner, i might need to spent triple hard work compared to others. I don't have the qualities captured for being a good pharmacist, communication isn't my capabilities neither. To search for the faults,I actually wanted to do crime scene investigation [ too much drama resulted ] where decease are monarch. Lol. This time i might be studying and communicate with the death one which i probably find it more interesting.
Dot dot dot.
Maybe i have got what i want, but just need to connect the dot dot dot.
Connecting.
It is surprising how much i think i know about myself, but in fact i actually don't. I hardly know the reflection point that is keep starring right back at me because i never bother to resolve them. Reality always is the wake up call. This is my third year doing this course, i haven't been doing anything much beside feeding all the crap loaded in the modules. I don't like going for boring classes and end up slaving myself during the lecture hours,i get nothing beside wasting the time, i just deciding to throw the lectures to the dustbin. I neither find it boring or i just finding excuses to myself, it can be attributed to the very lack of efficiency as opposed to the amount of every lectures.
What went wrong? I cant seem to connect the dot dot dot in mine. Why did i dip myself in pharmacy anyway? I am not a genius in drugs, the money isn't the factor anyway. I am not a bright student, neither a quick learner, i might need to spent triple hard work compared to others. I don't have the qualities captured for being a good pharmacist, communication isn't my capabilities neither. To search for the faults,I actually wanted to do crime scene investigation [ too much drama resulted ] where decease are monarch. Lol. This time i might be studying and communicate with the death one which i probably find it more interesting.
Dot dot dot.
The peoples
I like to day dream, to stare out of the window and think of ' What if ' , that was why i ended up getting a small notes written as-' Dont stay in the dream for too long, WAKE UP' inside the fortune biscuits during our CNY home dinner. [ Everyone burst into laugh ]. I have been sitting in the journey of life for quite some time, forgetting to ask myself to stop by and enjoy the bits of sceneries that flashed by. Finally, i stopped and asked myself what was missing. I don't know, i hardly see or reach it, or even feel it. But i NEED it.
The manja one
Connecting.
Sunday, 30 January 2011
Saturday, 29 January 2011
Dream within a dream
Was watching Inception for the second times, nurtured by the genius of Christopher Nolan and with the excellent cast headed by Leonardo DiCaprio.
This is the very few movies that i will watch it over and over again. Despite knowing little about the movie beyond its premise, i have been having hard time explaining this film and how i admire Nolan thinking for creating the world of Inception. Perhaps have you ever have this kind of brilliant craft before?
Inception is the act of going into a person's dream and planting an idea, where they create the world of the dream and bring in the subjects into the dream, and the subjects who will fill it with their subconscious. It discusses the nature of reality and the fact that what we believe to be true is nothing but our brain's interpretation of what it perceives our world to be and that our mind can perceive illusions as real and create physical reactions that respond to what it creates.
I think i am having difficulty explaining the plot. But is a well worth movie if you are willing to sit down for 148 min and twist your mind for it.
Inception is the act of going into a person's dream and planting an idea, where they create the world of the dream and bring in the subjects into the dream, and the subjects who will fill it with their subconscious. It discusses the nature of reality and the fact that what we believe to be true is nothing but our brain's interpretation of what it perceives our world to be and that our mind can perceive illusions as real and create physical reactions that respond to what it creates.
I think i am having difficulty explaining the plot. But is a well worth movie if you are willing to sit down for 148 min and twist your mind for it.
Thursday, 27 January 2011
Thoughts
Dear yling, please do something more interesting and get out of this black and white lifestyle.
I am finally done with exams!( Okay, that was like one week ago) Woohoo. All i did was writing a lot of rubbish throughout the essay questions. I hate it when we always don't get answers to questions. Not to say all the stupid coursework. They are not fully trusted marked. Past papers have no answers. Even you have, that will be the answers that you attempted yourself, and don't even know whether is correct or wrong.
That is Uni i guess.
Post-exam syndromes
-REALLY free
-Sleep at 10 pm and wake up the following day at noon.
-Resist travelling because i just want to get pigheadedly ( as always ), ended up watching Hong Kong drama Cant buy me love, and finished the 30+ episodes in 3 days. In fact is a nice funny drama. Good laugh.
-Reading unnecessary stuff,(Oh well, i didnt actually say is philosophy book! ) You can actually do argument with this book when you have nobody to argue with! They have their way of challenging thinking.
-No Coke! But due to the inbalance diet during exam period, i have a lot of fruits accumulate-18 apples, finish them in **** days. Still, till now not yet.
Note:Doing nothing is a much underrated inactivity.We have this kind of mind that 'something must be done', and it is worth stopping to ask why. Action is the enemy of thought sometimes. It may make us feel that we are dealing with the problem but in fact you might be making it worse. The bias towards action over inaction is extremely important.If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
It may be a wrong thinking. Just a page i came over when reading this book. I think- just because something isn't broken,it doesn't mean we should want it as it is.
I am finally done with exams!( Okay, that was like one week ago) Woohoo. All i did was writing a lot of rubbish throughout the essay questions. I hate it when we always don't get answers to questions. Not to say all the stupid coursework. They are not fully trusted marked. Past papers have no answers. Even you have, that will be the answers that you attempted yourself, and don't even know whether is correct or wrong.
That is Uni i guess.
Post-exam syndromes
-REALLY free
-Sleep at 10 pm and wake up the following day at noon.
-Resist travelling because i just want to get pigheadedly ( as always ), ended up watching Hong Kong drama Cant buy me love, and finished the 30+ episodes in 3 days. In fact is a nice funny drama. Good laugh.
-Reading unnecessary stuff,(Oh well, i didnt actually say is philosophy book! ) You can actually do argument with this book when you have nobody to argue with! They have their way of challenging thinking.
-No Coke! But due to the inbalance diet during exam period, i have a lot of fruits accumulate-18 apples, finish them in **** days. Still, till now not yet.
Note:Doing nothing is a much underrated inactivity.We have this kind of mind that 'something must be done', and it is worth stopping to ask why. Action is the enemy of thought sometimes. It may make us feel that we are dealing with the problem but in fact you might be making it worse. The bias towards action over inaction is extremely important.If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
It may be a wrong thinking. Just a page i came over when reading this book. I think- just because something isn't broken,it doesn't mean we should want it as it is.
Friday, 14 January 2011
Burnt
Slept for 5 hours plus today. The longest sleep in 3 weeks time? I cant remember.
There is only 1 left, one very last but tough Pharmacy Practice paper for me which require a lot of reading and general knowledge. And i am terribly sucks in this. And then i am done for Sem 5! Can you believe this? As in 5 subjects in 3 months time. You are gonna be kidding me.
I think i might gain weight in this month, exam period. And WTF i care about it. Huhuhuhhu
Pre-exam symptoms
-Oat with 3 Nutella bread,cereal bar,and milo/coffee for breakfast. And within one hour during the exam my stomach start rambles and scout for food.
-Cook for 3 days food in one time. And microwave / heat it for lunch and dinner. Okay, i know this is very very not healthy.
-It is 2/3 in the midnight. I am doing the boring revision with Mars/Snickers/Boost/Yorkie instead of fruits.
-To get myself alert, think that coffee cant help anymore, i move to Coke. And i finished 3 bottles in 3 days.
For the post-exam symptoms, think i might get to reveal them soon. But it will be much more healthy and interesting than this fucking life. I should say i will open my arms wide to welcome my normal life and start with some non-academic stuff. *cough cough*
I told mom that i have this kind of lifestyle during the exam period, because the time problems and your daughter is stupid and need more hard work compared to others, and she told me it was okay as long as you are not abusing alcohol. ( Since when la >.< )
There is only 1 left, one very last but tough Pharmacy Practice paper for me which require a lot of reading and general knowledge. And i am terribly sucks in this. And then i am done for Sem 5! Can you believe this? As in 5 subjects in 3 months time. You are gonna be kidding me.
I think i might gain weight in this month, exam period. And WTF i care about it. Huhuhuhhu
Pre-exam symptoms
-Oat with 3 Nutella bread,cereal bar,and milo/coffee for breakfast. And within one hour during the exam my stomach start rambles and scout for food.
-Cook for 3 days food in one time. And microwave / heat it for lunch and dinner. Okay, i know this is very very not healthy.
-It is 2/3 in the midnight. I am doing the boring revision with Mars/Snickers/Boost/Yorkie instead of fruits.
-To get myself alert, think that coffee cant help anymore, i move to Coke. And i finished 3 bottles in 3 days.
For the post-exam symptoms, think i might get to reveal them soon. But it will be much more healthy and interesting than this fucking life. I should say i will open my arms wide to welcome my normal life and start with some non-academic stuff. *cough cough*
Dang dang dang. See who is here? =))))
Hmmm of course i am not the most excited one. My unit is so so so happening, instead of the normal 4 peoples, it came to 6 now with 2 couples' fireworks explosive charge ! Sorry Maymay, I know your unit might be very plain and dull now. ;D
For the past few weeks i felt like i was some atomic bomb which is waiting to explode anytime soon. Maybe the stress level peaking high till the best friend also know it. And there she gave this song.
I can only say that my heartbeat that time was even higher!
But thanks Jyun.
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
People you can't live without
I love my housemates,just as how i love my family.
P/s: I like crapping non-sense sometimes, cause it wake up the stupid brain cells.
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